We’re NOT doomed I tells ya. We’re not dooooommmmed! Ok, it’s not the first time we’ve been wrong. But it’s not like we’re in control of a nuclear arsenal, or the European economy or anything, so who gives a Shane Watson.
Rather than being cleaned up by the guy with the controversial action this morning (that’s Mohammad Hafeez I’m talking about by the way), we managed to compile a first innings lead of seventy. It wasn’t easy, but when Stuart Broad was at the crease, it was certainly great to watch. What a hugely talented all round cricketer he is.
At one point, Pakistan slumped to 54-4 in their second innings – raising hopes that we were going to win easily. However, as seems to be the case with England in this series, these hopes were merely ephemeral. Azhar Ali and Asad Shafiq battled bravely in the final hour and Pakistan finished the day a useful 55 runs ahead.
The first hour tomorrow is obviously going to be key. The good news is that Pakistan’s tail is as long as Charles Colville’s night shift covering the Australia versus India test series. If we get a couple of early wickets, we should win comfortably.
However, if Pakistan stretch their lead to 150 or 200, we could be in for a cracking game – and inevitably, more whinging about the legitimacy of Saeed Ajmal’s javelin technique.
James Morgan
Pakistan 257. England 207-5
It was so cruel. When Cook and Trott’s partnership took England to 166-1 after tea, the prospect of a big first innings lead, and victory in the second test, seemed almost real. So what if the ball was spitting off the pitch and it looked like a wicket might fall every over? We kidded ourselves that our batsmen’s luck was infinite – and that this match was being played at Brisbane, not some bunsen in the desert.
And then it happened. Trott was dismissed to a cracking ball from Rehman – made all the sweeter by the fact that it wasn’t a throw, just a beautiful piece of orthodox left arm spin bowling – and then Cook followed soon afterwards; lbw to (you guessed it) Mr Curve Ball.
Maybe it was just the pessimistic part of my body – which usually includes my head, torso, arms, hands, midriff, legs and feet – which expected us to collapse thereafter. Or maybe it was just the rational part of my brain, which sees a ball spinning viciously, batsmen who can’t play spin for toffee, and Pakistani bowlers with a spring in their step.
Ajmal was far too good for Pietersen (most spinners are these days), and as for Morgan, well you can’t blame the bloke really. Most batsmen would be out of their depth against this kind of bowling, in these kinds of conditions. It was a miracle that Bell managed to keep his wicket intact until the close.
So what can we expect tomorrow? England are approximately fifty behind with five wickets left. Unfortunately, those wickets are likely to disappear quicker than you can say ‘surely that’s got to be more than fifteen degrees’. Or even ‘yes, it looks more like thirty five or forty’.
As a result, I’m expecting England’s tail to collapse in a heap on day three. Not because they lack guts or ability; it’s simply because the bowling looks unplayable at times. It’s hard enough playing orthodox spinners on this track without accounting for a bloke who, let’s be honest, nobody could have envisaged all those years ago when cricket’s rules were written.
In order for England to get any kind of lead tomorrow, Bell and Prior will have to play out of their skins, get every piece of luck going, and then pray that the tail can slog a few. However, even if we manage to get a reasonable lead, we’ll still have to bat last – and it will be turning even more by then. It doesn’t look good.
Strangely enough, if you had offered us 200-5 yesterday evening, we probably would have taken it. Somehow, however, the events of the final hour have put a totally different spin on proceedings (if you excuse the pun). My conclusion? We’re doomed I tells ya. Doooooooommmmed!
James Morgan
Monty back, Goober in peril: day one at Abu Dhabi
Stumps: Pakistan 256-7
A fascinating day’s test cricket, which began with confirmation of something everyone has long suspected: Andrew Strauss and Andy Flower are avid readers of The Full Toss. In fact, they pay very close attention to the views we express.
How do we know? Just look at the teamsheet. All last week we argued that Panesar should be playing instead of Tremlett, and called on England to field two seamers and two spinners. Which is exactly what they’ve now done. Coincidence?
We’ll never know if the Goober would have been dropped if fit to play, but his propensity for injury is becoming a worry, and could seriously jeopardise his test career. As the Independent’s Stephen Brenckley remarked on TMS this morning, England may be moving towards a bowler rotation system, but Tremlett already has a rotation system of his own.
Here at TFT we like Tremlett, but sceptics will wonder why he’s so often hors de combat, and whether his mental attitude is part of the problem. With Bresnan so valuable nowadays, and both Finn and Onions champing at the bit, we might well not see Tremlett again in a test match for some time.
We’ve expressed similar sentiments in the past about Monty, so wasn’t it a joy to see him back? And he bowled pretty well, too, especially when you imagine the nerves and pressure of the occasion. Not that I’ve played much test cricket myself, but I’d guess it can’t be easy making a recall after three such problematic years. Read more…
Saeed Ajmal: the devil incarnate?
England’s cricketers continued to walk a diplomatic tightrope last night, as the controversy surrounding Saeed Ajmal escalated.
The Pakistani spinner has been accused by several pundits of using black magic and illegal wizardry to obtain an unfair advantage while bowling.
Respected Sky Sports analyst Bob Willis has been particularly forthright, accusing Ajmal of being “clearly a necromancer from hell, and an emissary of Satan who is using dark arts to tamper with the very stuff of life itself”.
Attention has focused on Ajmal’s performance in the first test at Dubai. Critics have pointed to his controversial ability to bowl straight, accurate balls which don’t turn much, and appeared to have a magical affect on the English batsmen.
So far the visiting side have hinted at their disquiet but fought shy of explicit condemnation.
“There’s obviously been a lot of stuff in the papers about whether Ajmal is the spawn of Beelzebub”, said Jonathan Trott. “But we’re trying as a team not to get distracted by that. Our job is just to get runs on the board”.
Matt Prior, meanwhile, implied the issue has caused unease in the dressing room. “Obviously these things get talked about, but the ICC have clear rules on diabolical sorcery. Ultimately they have a job to do, and we have to trust them to get on with it”.
Oh shut up
With England up the Dubai creek, it didn’t take long for the ever impartial Javed Miandad to stick his oar in.
When asked about England’s capitulation in the first test, Pakistan cricket’s favourite father and son combination claimed that England didn’t deserve to be the world’s number one team.
His reason? No, it wasn’t his obsessive hatred of all things English (which came as a shock to those who have grown accustomed to Javed’s punditry over the years) it was the ‘fact’ England have enjoyed ‘home advantage’ during their ascent up the rankings. Strauss’ team, according to Javed’s ever cerebral logic, had therefore proved nothing.
When presented with statements lacking any kind of rational thought, it’s good fun to pick them apart bit by bit. So here goes ….
Contrary to common perceptions with Pakistan – well, within the Miandad household anyway – England tend to play matches all year round. Normal procedure usually involves England staging test matches at home between May and August, and then playing test series overseas in the winter.
Consequently (believe it or not) England do not enjoy ‘home advantage’ in the majority of their games. When England play test matches in South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Bangladesh, or the West Indies, they’re are usually called ‘away’ fixtures. This is because they take place outside the UK – on pitches which are not quintessentially English.
Javed’s rant was also riddled with contradictions. No surprises there. One minute he criticised England for their apparent inability to win major series overseas ; the next he was describing how beating Australia was a holy grail of Pakistan cricket. Brilliant!
One can only assume that Javed was in a coma last winter. Or that series victories by touring teams in Australia don’t count when the team in question is England.
Carnage in the desert: day three at Dubai
Pakistan (338 and 15-0) beat England (192 and 160) by ten wickets
It’s hard to know where to begin after a day like that.
This might sound odd, but for some strange reason, I don’t feel particularly shaken by the events of this match, nor traumatised, and certainly not angry. My sentiments are no more significant than any other England supporter’s, of course, but I think emotions, of whatever tone, tend to colour one’s analysis of defeat.
The main reason to feel sanguine and keep things in proportion is that before this match we were undefeated in nine tests, of which we won seven. A reverse simply had to happen sometime, and a stark one, too; that’s how cricket works. Even the all-time great sides, to whom we aspire, lost occasionally.
What we don’t yet know is whether this was a blip, the start of a problem, or even a turning point. And the question everyone will debate endlessly over the next few days – so we may as get well get in first – is what went so disastrously wrong with our batting?
It always seems facile to me, finding a single cause to explain a batting collapse, especially two. Batsmen bat individually, completely separate from each other – and their mistakes and misjudgements are equally separate. It only takes one ball, and half a second, to get out. Repeat that six times within two hours and the innings is a write-off.
Cricket balls don’t care about what happened last over or what the scoreboard says – they’re only interested in stumps, pads, edges, and catching hands. Each delivery is a separate event.
All of which is a roundabout way of saying that our disaster in Dubai could just have been one of those things. Momentum is also part of it. Some days, one side is destined to best the other, wickets just happen, and everything goes their way. Read more…
After the debacle, the fight back. Day two at Dubai
Stumps Day 2. England 192. Pakistan 288-7
If England get out of this test match with a draw or a win, the batsmen ought to take the bowlers out for a night on the tiles. Oh hang on, they’re in Dubai aren’t they. Maybe they should go out for a quiet meal and a few lemonades instead.
Yesterday evening England were looking down the barrel. The pitch seemed flatter than Jessica Alba’s stomach, and Pakistan seemed destined for a huge first innings lead.
However, after a spirited fight back by the bowlers today, England certainly aren’t out of the game yet. The first inning deficit is still likely to be about 120 to 140, but if we bat well in the second dig who knows what could happen. Pakistan won’t want to chase much more than 250.
Our bowlers deserve a great deal of credit for the way they performed today. It was reminiscent of the Ashes, when we had to bowl the Aussies out on a number of slow unresponsive surfaces.
The plan, as always, was to bowl a tight line, apply pressure, and wait for the batsmen to either nick one behind or make a mental error. It eventually paid off.
However, imagine how much easier it would have been if Monty was playing? Tremlett is a good bowler, but he was never going to be effective on these kind of pitches. Everyone knew it apart from the England management apparently – which is kind of worrying if you think about it.
Anyway, as Sir Geoffrey wisely pointed out on TMS, our bowlers’ performance will be in vain if our batsmen capitulate tomorrow. That means they’ll have to play Saeed Ajmal with a straight bat.
Anyone out sweeping should be flogged in public. Apparently they enjoy that sort of thing in the UAE. Shame they don’t allow it back in the UK, really. Hmmm, I really should stop reading all those right wing tabloids.
James Morgan
Don’t panic! Don’t panic! Day one at Dubai
513, 644, 496-5 dec, 486, 377-8 dec, 474-8 dec, 221, 710-7 dec, 591-6 dec. No, not the number of spectators expected at each day of this series, but England’s first innings score in our last nine test matches.
Since the debacle of Perth, our batsmen have filled their boots, day in, day out – breaking records for fun and putting the bowling of three different test nations to the sword. A run of that kind cannot continue forever; cricket doesn’t work like that. We have been long overdue an off-day, a collapse, a change of fortune, or simply a dynamic performance by the opposition. And today it arrived.
On Twitter and in the commentary boxes, our batsmen came on for savage criticism. Time, it was felt, to cut them down to size. But let’s keep things in perspective. This was a single poor display by a consistently successful, committed, and professional batting unit.
That said, there was a hollowness about our batting today which does give some cause for alarm, and ammunition for every English pessimist. We batted like an England team of the 1990s, without confidence or authority – not in the manner of the accomplished and steely world champions we really are.
When teams don’t believe in themselves, they lose wickets through either timidity or brash, unconvincing attempts to impose themselves. And that’s exactly what happened in the first session – especially the dismissals of Strauss, Cook and Morgan.
Why did we bat in such a cowed, brain-addled and put-upon fashion, at least until Prior arrived, instead of the usual self-confidence and fluency? Was it nerves? Rust? Lack of skill against spin? Or was just a bad day at the office?
What’s crucial now – and it exemplifies the difference between good and great teams – is whether our players can digest today’s events constructively, and move on with lessons learned, and not let their travails against Ajmal develop into fear, negativity and panic. Read more…
I’ve got a bad feeling about this …
Call me negative. Call me a bigger pessimist than the robot in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (or the suicidal donkey in Winnie The Pooh), but I’m really worried about the upcoming series against Pakistan. Yes, I know we’re the No.1 ranked team in the world – and yes, I know we’ve swept everything before us in recent series – but I’ve just got this suspicion that we’re going to come unstuck.
In the winter of 2005/06 we travelled to Pakistan on the back of that euphoric Ashes win. We had the best captain in the world, the best seam bowlers, and a batting line up that boasted Trescothick and an inform Pietersen. Everyone thought we’d destroy Pakistan (who were a much weaker side than Australia) but it didn’t quite work out like that.
The Pakistanis sent us packing with our tail between our legs – and our post Ashes optimism imploded faster than France’s credit rating.
This time things look trickier on paper. We’ve got to play in Dubai – a place nobody knows anything about. We might as well be playing them on Mars.
The consensus (aka the educated guess) is that the pitches will be slow, low, and batsmen friendly. They’re likely to help our tall seam bowlers about as much as Nicholas Sarkozy would help David Cameron if he was stuck in quicksand and there was a bar and a beautiful woman close by.
Basically, taking wickets is going to be tricky – unless, of course, you’ve got a mystery spinner who turns the ball both ways. Graeme Swann is a very good off spinner, but he hasn’t bowled well in the warm up games. Monty Panesar is a decent left armer, but I doubt he’ll play; If England do actually select two spinners, and alter the balance of the side, I’ll faint.
Pakistan, on the other hand, have a spinner I consider to be the best in the world – Saeed Ajmal. I’d be amazed if he doesn’t take a hat load of wickets. We’ve never been great players of spin – and let’s not forget that he made a number of our batsmen look foolish in the spot-fixing tour or 2010. He’ll be even more of a handful in Dubai.
Is Test Match Special fixed?
Cricket’s corruption scandal took a sensational new twist last night, after it was alleged that two radio pundits conspired to ‘fix’ a passage of radio commentary.
Following yesterday’s guilty plea by former Essex player Mervyn Westfield to charges of match-tampering, the focus has now shifted to Test Match Special‘s Jonathan Agnew and Geoffrey Boycott.
Investigators have turned their attention to what’s described as a “suspicious” passage of commentary shortly after lunch on the second day of last summer’s England v India test at Edgbaston.
It’s suggested that Mr Boycott deliberately used a series of cliches and catchphrases to fit a pre-ordained pattern. They are believed to include “corridor of uncertainty”, “stick of rhubarb” and “he couldn’t get my mum out”.
Mr Agnew is also implicated by the claim that he purposefully asked his partner a series of leading questions, designed as an excuse for Boycott to provide the above responses.
“Every commentator uses a cliche from time to time, and there’s nothing suspicious about that”, a source told The Full Toss. “But on that occasion Boycott must have used about nineteen of his catch-phrases within the space of three overs”. Read more…
